ECU life

So it's been awhile since I wrote but I think I'm going to start writing again. I've been in college for a little over 2 months and so far I'm loving it. When I first got here I nearly wanted to transfer because after talking to this girl for over 2 months during the summer the first night she was here she hooked up with some guy. That night I was not able to meet up with her because she was answering her phone and I was you could say pretty out of it. The next day I finally was able to meet the girl I was falling for. Only to be told by her roommate that she was busy having sex with that guy. So officially getting to see her was when she was doing her walk of shame down the hall. She thought nothing of what she had done to me. I wanted absolutely nothing to do with her. We casually texted a few times but after having to see her every single day I could not take it anymore so I pulled the trigger and did a childish of removing her from Facebook  I justified it by the fact the night I did it I also took nearly a 1/3 of my friends off. I also took this other girl off but I'll get to that later. Okay so the first girl she didn't appreciate what I did. According to her friends she was pissed. If I was that important I ask myself why she never gave me the time of day to ever pay attention to me or even give me that chance of what could have been. Oh well. It's over with. As I joined Pirate Nation, I also joined the Living Learning Center for Business students. I thought it would be a good experience to have coming into school. So I got to move into school earlier than most. The LLC spent this time doing activities to get to know each other. Some lame some cool. For the most part I thought most of the guys were cool. As time went on though it seemed I didn't really fit in with most of the people though. I always was trying to hang out with them and they would give me the feeling of being unwanted. So I basically said Fuck You to most people and gave up on trying to hang out with any of them. I think the thing I'm most thankful is my friend Mikayla. I met her over the summer at orientation. basically the only friend i had except my friend Katie from home. Mikayla made me take her to the Newman center the catholic church for ECU. I didnt know what to expect. So far its been the best decision ive made. There I feel wanted. I'm included in so much with them. After our first tailgate I really grew to know them. I decided to go on their retreat to the beach. I spent weekend getting to know God better and knowing people from there too. As for classes, I have grown to know that I'm not in high school anymore. almost every class is lecture hall. Ive learned this is not the way I am able to learn. also having math for the first time in nearly 2 years killed me. I was forced to drop the class because it was not going as expected. A few weeks ago I went home for fall break and man did I need it. Saturday night I was able to see some of my friends up at UD. It was a great night. The problem was that earlier that day I hung out with my friends still in high school. These girls I consider like my little sisters. And after spending the day with them I was told by one of them that other has grown a crush on me. i was in shock because i never have seen her like that. My best friend has always liked her I would never think about her like that. anyway I decided being 6 hours from home and a bunch of other stuff it was just a bad idea to do anything. At the same time this girl that I met over the summer from ecu started texting me again. she seemed interested again like she did over the summer. the thing though was that during the summer she seemed like she flirted with EVERYONE. this time i dismissed that thinking she changed. As I found out she had not. After she met me and ate dinner. she began only sending small responses to me. its not my first time her I knew she didnt care about me there was plenty of guys for her i haven't tried talking to her since and vice versa knowing she hasnt tried shows she truly did not care.Again. Oh well. I feel I just do not have a great life when it comes to women. It usually ends by them saying they're uninterested or they have a boyfriend. It has happened a lot. I still have hope though. I don't care if they say im too nice and stuff Im not gonna change because thats what I like to do. Also about a month ago I tried something I was unsure about. I decided to request my ex. We did not speak for over a year because of how bad it had gotten. anyways I requested and she accepted that day which surprised me since she said she wanted me out of her life for good. After about 3 weeks of not doing anything on there directed towards her she messaged me. And for the first time I was not feeling anything about her. And she seemed to get that too. Good or bad I dont know yet. Maybe eventually I'll talk to her again but I am not in any rush to do that. I'm gonna finally cut this short now since my fingers are starting to hurt and slowly falling asleep. Right now I am feeling great about myself. I have been hanging with great people not getting into anything bad. I am excited to see how the rest of this year will turn out. Peace out. hopefully I'll make something sooner so it will not have to be this long

Actually just realized the other stuff was never posted whoops haha